February 2012
178 posts
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
When you smell weed →
most-awkward-moments:
Walking out of a store after not buying anything...
most-awkward-moments:
5 tags
A few rules:
1.Never stop thinking. This is important. If someone ever says to you ‘You need to stop thinking so much,’ call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. It is this mentality that breeds stupidity and sheeple. Your mind is the most important tool you have, if you stop using it, it will atrophy. Question everything.
2. Stare into space blankly and don’t mentally punish yourself for...
Anonymous asked: 12, 13, 14, 36, 43, 61, and 75.
A girl's moan is the sexiest thing, ever.
Do it
1. had sex?
2. bought condoms?
3. gotten pregnant?
4. failed a class?
5. kissed a boy?
6. kissed a girl?
7. used a little paper bag for lunch?
8. had a job?
9. slipped on ice?
10. missed the school bus?
11. left the house without my wallet?
12. bullied someone on the internet?
13. sexted?
14. had sex in public?
15. played on a sports team?
16. smoked weed?
17. smoked cigarettes?
18. smoked a cigar?
19. drank alcohol? .
20. watched “The Breakfast Club”?
21. been overweight?
22. been underweight?
23. had an eating disorder?
24. been to a wedding?
25. made fun of someone for being fat?
26. been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
27. watched tv for 5 hours straight?
28. been late for work?
29. been late for school?
30. kissed in the rain?
31. showered with someone else?
32. failed my drivers test?
33. ran a mile in less than 10 minutes?
34. been outside my home country?
35. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?
36. had lice?
37. gotten my heart broken?
38. had a credit card?
39. been to a professional sports game?
40. broken a bone?
41. been unhappy about my weight?
42. won a trophy?
43. cut myself?
44. had an STD?
45. got engaged?
46. been on a diet?
47. tried out to be on a tv show?
48. rode in a taxi?
49. been to prom?
50. played a drinking game?
51. stayed up for 24 hours or more?
52. been to a concert?
53. had a three-some?
54. had a crush on someone of the same sex?
55. been in a car accident?
56. had braces?
57. learned another language?
58. killed an animal?
59. been at a yard sale?
60. been to a japanese steakhouse?
61. wore make up?
62. talked to someone via webcam?
63. lost my virginity before I was 16?
64. had my wisdom teeth taken out?
65. kissed someone a different race than myself?
66. snuck out of the house?
67. bought porn?
68. had a virus on my computer?
69. had oral sex?
70. dyed my hair?
71. gone skinny dipping?
72. graduated from college?
73. wore someone else’s clothes?
74. voted in a presidential election?
75. rode in an ambulance?
76. rode in a helicopter?
77. caught the stove on fire?
78. got in a verbal fight?
79. met someone famous?
80. been on vacation?
82. been on a boat?
81. been on an airplane?
83. broken something expensive?
84. had surgery?
85. kissed someone before I was 14?
86. beat a video game?
87. found something valuable on the ground?
88. made a survey?
89. stalked someone on a social network?
90. prank called someone?
92. spent over $100 shopping in one day?
91. been to a library outside of school?
93. cut my hair and hated it?
94. peed outside?
95. went fishing?
96. helped with charity?
97. taken a pregnancy test?
98. been rejected by a crush?
99. been suspended from school?
100.broken a mirror?
My first reaction when i get to school:
most-awkward-moments:
This is how the rain looks like when you're up... →
10knotes:
stalecigarettes:
oh my fucking god, that’s amazing.
“He [Rick Santorum] is a staunch opponent of abortion, even in the case of rape....”
– John Oliver on Rick Santorum (via onedirectiontohell)
Rings made out of quarters.
vienna-v:
strawberrykiwijuice:
I am in love.
Check out the tutorial here.
these are awesome!
